Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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