O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
