Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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