once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
