Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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