Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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