I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
