Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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