On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
