I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Randomize