Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
