He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
