if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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