I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize