It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize