i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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