So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Randomize
