Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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