I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
