i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Oh god it's open bar.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
