Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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