I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
