She is in my trunk
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
