false alarm. still invincible.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
