porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
