my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Hippo gnu deer
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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