She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize