Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
