her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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