I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize