My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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