yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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