tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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