I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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