Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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