clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
