Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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