We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
