My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
