did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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