Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
