When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
