the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
