He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
