How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
