U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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