when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
