you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
