She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
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