Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
