My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
