Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You dont lie about slip and slides
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
