so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
