Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
