I'm gonna have a badass scar
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
