It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
