6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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