How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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