Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
