I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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