Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize