i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
