She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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